When I went to South America, I didn’t take Beth’s wedding ring because I was so afraid I’d lose it (I’ve become amazingly absentminded). Ironically, I’ve now lost the ring I was wearing in South America. I sincerely hope I find that.
I knew I’d be revisiting our honeymoon locations, and taking so many photos of her, so I decided to take the chance and simply try and be more mindful.
It’s something Beth wanted me to be better, at anyway.
Mindfulness – though in a much deeper and bigger sense.
I know it’s been nearly nine months. I know I should stop wearing it. A few people even commented when I stopped wearing it for a few weeks. I mean, commenting in a positive way; that it was good to see I was moving on, or whatever. I know those comments are meant in the kindest and most supportive way.
But, for for this first year, at least, I’m giving myself permission to do whatever the hell I want.
And what I want is this little constant reminder of her; of the love lost; of what was.
And I’m not ashamed to admit I fucking miss her like you could never imagine.