Beth with multiple Gozers

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I’ve posted a few “fading away” photos over the past year and a half. I’ve also mentioned I will bring this blog to a close with a string of “fading away” images.

However, I thought I’d post this one now, since I’ve recently been posting other images of her with Gozer.


Sept 24, 2017

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Here is a closeup:

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I don’t know what I have left to say. I’m just spent. I barely slept last night.

I went to a bar in Glasgow and filmed a band. Afterwards, as I began a 30 minute drive to my Airbnb, I realized it was past midnight: Sept 24th. So, I kept repeating to myself, “Focus on the road. It’s dark, it’s late, you’re driving on the wrong side of the road and here comes another roundabout. Focus on that.”

I spent another restless night struggling to sleep. I’ve few brain cells working well enough to write a profound reflection.

Instead, I’ll leave you with this image from the Chicago Art Institute, and a link to what I posted exactly one year ago, today. Sept. 24th, 2016

I use to love the quote, “Not all those who wander are lost,” but I’ve been wandering for a couple of years, now.

I still feel lost.


Park near Beth’s parents’ house

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We took some selfies at a park near her parents’ house.

I remember when Beth and I first started dating, she’d ask if I wanted to walk around the park with her. The photos from the wooden bridge, which I posted months ago, were from one of those walks.

That’s her mom, Barb, on the right. Her parents were always so loving and supportive of everything she wanted to do.

I miss these moments.

Beth at her desk – “58” – at Union Pacific

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Once, again, here is an image I did not take. I’d never visited Beth’s desk at the Harriman Dispatching Center. I wish I had. She really enjoyed working there.

One of her colleagues, Brian, took a photo of her desk, for me. I wasn’t allowed into the secured area. So, this is one of those rare photos where I had to combine them in Photoshop. I hate doing that, but on very rare occasions, I will resort to it. It’s sloppy and imperfect and certainly less than optimal, but it had to do.

It was still nice to visit.

It’s impossible to see, but I used my iPhone and took this photo through the glass while Brian went and took a photo of the desk for me. “58” is near the far left in this image, in the row closest to the large screens on the wall. Her desk is approximately between the final two wall screens near the far left.

There are also glass panels listing the “Guardian Award” winners for each year. I believe it’s a list of all the dispatchers who didn’t have any safety violations, if I recall. I’m pretty sure Beth won one every year she was a dispatcher at the Union Pacific. She was proud of that.

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